Yes, There Are Chemistry Jokes and They Are Funny

Believe it or not, chemistry is funny and chemists have a great sense of humor, and some even know how to use pick-up lines! Are all my jokes too basic for you? Why is there no reaction?My Chemistry teacher threw sodium chloride at me.... Thats a salt!Little Willie was a chemist. Little Willie is no more. What he thought was H2O was H.Sulfur and oxygen were best buds. They lived far from each other, so in order for oxygen to chat with his pal, he had to use his sulfone!Want to hear a joke about nitrogen oxide? NO.Heisenberg and Schrodinger are driving down the road when a cop pulls them over. The cop asks Heisenberg, Do you know how fast you were going back there? Heisenberg replies No, but I can tell you exactly where I was. The cop begins to be suspicious and proceeds to search the car. Upon opening the trunk he exclaims, Hey, you have a dead cat back here, to which Schrodinger replies Well, now I do! Thanks.Im running out of chemistry jokes. All the good ones argon.Why did the chemists pants keep falling down? He had no acetol.9 sodium atoms walk into a bar, followed by batman.Old chemists never die, th ey only fail to react as a chemist.The guy next to me asked if I had any hypo bromide, I said NaBrO.What did the nerd say when he failed a test? Ytterbium.A proton and a neutron are walking down the street. The proton says, Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it. The neutron says, Are you sure? The proton replies, Im positive.Random Person: Why do you react violently when we put you in H20? Chemistry Cat: Because my race contains iron, lithium and neon FeLiNe origins.First man orders Id like H2O. The second man orders Id like H2O too. The second man died.The atom asks the electron,  why are you small? The electron replies, because I have a low charge!This joke is sodium funny... I slapped my neon that one.What do you call a tooth in a glass of water? A one molar solution!Here is a pick-up line: You must be copper and tellurium cause you sure are CuTe!  He was a boron; he couldnt even follow the octet rule. He had a solid network but wasnt a diamond. To a chemist only s ix states matter.A neutron walked into a bar and asked how much for a drink. The bartender replied, for you, no charge.In the world of chemicals, a constant battle rages between the chemical supervillains and the chemical super agents. The most esteemed of these is one (OO)7, international dyeing agent of mystery. On one particularly hairy mission, he finds himself pitted against the evil genius of lore, Dr. Nitrogen Monoxide, who has set a devious trap in the form of an ordinary piece of white cloth. After falling through a cleverly placed mechanosensitive membrane protein, (OO)7 is shocked to find himself soaking into a tightly bound mesh of cotton fibers. (He is, after all, a dyeing agent.) In desperation, he calls to his nemesis, Do you expect me to talk, NO? The villain only chuckles maniacally. No Mr. Dye, I expect you to bond.The noble gases walk into a bar. No one reacts.Wanted by the Law: Schrodingers Cat, Dead And/Or Alive

The Client s Cognitive And Social Functioning - 1362 Words

A. This form does encompass the realm of a client’s life. Nevertheless, the one question seems to be missing is an inquiry as to what brought them in today, and why are they choosing now to deal with it. Previously, we learned how motivation is an important factor that needs to be both considered and addressed (Hepworth, Rooney, Rooney, Strom-Gottfried, 2016). The form did ask what they wanted to get out of their therapy session, but that is only half of the information that is needed. Knowing this information allows the clinician to have a better understanding of the client, which is imperative for a successful assessment. This intake form does briefly address all aspects included in a biopsychosocial assessment. The medical questions†¦show more content†¦When asked, the clinician explained, asking the same question in multiple ways occasionally elicited different responses; which allowed her to get an enhanced view of the child she was assessing. Having too much in formation is always better than not having enough. The clinician needs to know how the client manages stressful situations or the obstacles they contend to in their life. This helps determine the best treatment plan, foresee any obstacles, and set suitable goals for the client. C. Making sure that the client can comprehend the questions is an important aspect of an assessment. If the client does not grasp what the question is asking, it will not be of any use in the assessment. Using terminology that client does not understand might also put the client on the defense. This response could affect the rapport you will have with the client. First impressions are exceedingly important, and you do not want to offend your client by using language they do not readily understand. Therefore, could add to the concerns or difficulties they had when they decided to pursue help. The clinician certainly does not want the intake to add any more stress to their lives, or escalate any insecurities they might already be experiencing. The wording of the questionnaire needs to be precise, and easily understood by people of all education levels. You don’t want anything that could hinder an open line of communication with the client (Hepworth et al., 2016). D. I only found thisShow MoreRelatedExamining Effectiveness Of Treatment Strategies Used With Survivors Of Rape1357 Words   |  6 Pageslike prolonged exposure and cognitive-processing therapy, as well as lack of insurance and location, are hardships for treatment-seeking individuals. Therefore, it is important to pinpoint the most effective treatments for those who have suffered the trauma of rape. The purpose of this research is to outline the most effective, lasting, and current treatments used to treat female survivors of sexual assault. 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Rationing During World War Ii Free Essays

Rationing During World War II 30 March, 2012 Rationing During World War II Rationing is defined as a fixed allowance of provisions of food, especially for soldiers or sailors or for civilians during a shortage (dictionary. com). In 1942 a rationing system began to guarantee minimum amounts of things people needed. We will write a custom essay sample on Rationing During World War Ii or any similar topic only for you Order Now During World War II, people couldn’t just walk into a store and buy whatever they wanted. Ration books are books that contained coupons where shopkeepers could cut out the coupon for the person to use. War ration books and tokens were issued to each American family, controlling how much gas, tires, sugar, meat, silk, shoes, nylon and other items any person could buy (Rationing on the US Homefront). The Office of Price Administration (OPA) issued each person in a household to get a ration book, even children and babies. Ration books were organized by color: buff-colored books were mostly for adults, green ration books were for pregnant women, nursing mothers and children under the age of five, and blue ration books were for children from ages six to sixteen (Rationing on the US Homefront). On National Registration day, 29 September, 1939, every person in a household had to fill out a form explaining with details about who lived in their house. Ration stamps were only valid for a certain period of time so it would prevent hoarding of the stamps. The government issued ration books because they were worried that when items became scarce that the prices would go up, and poor people couldn’t buy the things they needed (Barrow, 2010). Rationing made sure that people got an equal amount of food every week. The government tried their hardest to make it fair for everyone. Still, some people thought that rationing was unfair (Barrow, 2010). People were encouraged to provide their own food in their homes thus starting the ‘Dig for Victory! ’ campaign. The ‘Dig for Victory! ’ campaign was where men and women made their yards and flower-beds into gardens to grow vegetables (Dig For Victory! , 2004). A typical ration for one adult per week was: butter 50g (2oz), sugar 225g (8oz), cheese 50g (2oz), jam 450g (1lb) every two months, bacon and ham 100g, meat to the value of 1s. 2d (1 shilling and sixpence e er week, eggs 1 fresh egg a week, dried eggs 1 packet every four weeks, margarine 100g (4oz), milk 3 pints (1800 ml), tea 50g (2oz), sweets 350g (12oz) every four weeks (Barrow, 2010). With the above list of rationed items, each person was allowed sixteen points to use on whatever rationed item they wanted. Pregnant women, mothers who are nursing their children or children under the age of five were allowed to pick their choice of fruit, daily pint of milk and double eggs first (Barrow, 2010). Clothes rationing began two years after food rationing started. During World War II, there was a shortage in material for clothing. The shortage made people to â€Å"make due and mend† so that way factory workers could make uniforms, and parachutes for the war (Giullian, 2010). The government gave each person a ration book for clothes. Just like food rationing, when people wanted to buy new clothes, all they had to do was bring their ration book to the store and then buy they clothes they wanted, then you hand over your ration book to the storekeeper and they mark off what the person got in their ration books. The coupon system allowed people to get a new set of clothing each year. Coupons were a different color so they wouldn’t use all their coupons at once. The government told the people when they could use their other coupons. At first, each person was given 60 coupons to last them the whole year. Later on the coupon amount dropped to 48. Children were assigned an extra 10 ration coupons for their clothing in case they grow during the year. What would you buy with 60 coupons to last you the whole year? Fourteen years of rationed food and it finally came to an end because meat and bacon restrictions were lifted. Rationing of food ended nine years after the war ended. Rationing ended on 4 July, 1954 (Barrow, 2010). Fourteen years of rationing, people could finally enjoy buying the necessities they needed for their daily life. Men, women, and children went back to a normal lifestyle they were used to. References Barrow, M.. (2010, Month. Day). In  Rationing During WWWII. Retrieved Mar. 26, 2012, from http://www. woodlands-junior. kent. sch. uk/Homework/war/rationing. htm (2004, Mar. 1 ). In  Dig for Victory!. Retrieved Mar. 26, 2012, from http://h2g2. com/dna/h2g2/A2263529 Giullian, M.. (2010, May. 10). In  Rationing. Retrieved Mar. 25, 2012, from http://ussslcca25. com/rationing. htm In  Rationing on the US Homefront during WWII. Retrieved Mar. 25, 2012, from http://www. ameshistoricalsociety. org/exhibits/events/rationing. htm How to cite Rationing During World War Ii, Essay examples